Transferable skills or Transferable moods/fears/insecurities.
Transferable skills are normally associated with employment or education.
A transferable skill is a skill that you are able to use in more than one situation i.e.
· Plan and arrange events and activities
· Delegate responsibility
· Attend to visual detail
· Deal with obstacles and crises
· Multi-task
· Present written material
· Present material orally
· Manage time
· Repair equipment or machinery
· Keep records
· Handle complaints
· Coordinate fundraising activities
· The ability to influence others
· The ability to motivate others
And you can see why some of them are considered valuable assets in the workplace.
That's just in the workplace.
When you consider all the abilities we need to live our lives, managing ourselves,
dealing with other people and being responsible for bringing othersinto the world
you can begin to appreciate what fantastic skills we have.
Many of our skills we develop quite naturally as we are growing up. Skills that in some way enhance our experience of life. These skills and strengths tend to become
part of who we are rather than a skill that we can transfer. In fact they are probably not
even recognised as a skill and in some cases rather a fault, weakness.
But like everything else in life, skills are skills, strengths are strengths. If some seems
to be coming from the 'dark side' they are still what they are and by the law of everything
should be transferable.
Think about the people you have known or known of, who have had a negative impact
on you.
It's easy to recognise the people who bitch, moan or are miserable and easy enough if
you are vigilant to remain alert to their influence and refuse to let yourself get drawn into their
negative patterns. They certainly prove themselves to have a certain influence and could
easily make the unsuspecting switch mood or opinion. What a powerful skill. Transferring
it to achieve the opposite would ensure they had loads of friends.
However, it is the really skilled people with the much more subtle approach that are really
wasting their talents.. The people who have the ability to change the way you are thinking
and leave you feeling flat without ever really saying much. You know you've spent some
time with them because your attitude has changed from being optimistic about a situation
to being fault finding and suspicious.
There is no doubt about it those people can spot a fault at 100 feet and that's their great
skill but using it to create a bad atmosphere is using that very valuable skill in a negative
way. If only they could transfer that skill so that they were able to be helpful and supportive
the outcome would be much more satisfactory and they would be valuable contributors
and friends. As they are so subtle in their approach then they tend to have a great influence
on others and before you can blink an eye, what was a relaxed and positive atmosphere is
now a hostile and uncompromising experience.
Take people who are basically insecure. A skill that some of these people develop is
to subtly and cleverly create that insecurity in someone who was previously quite upbeat.
This is especially noticeable in tests or times when the potential for insecurity might be at its peak.
This takes place in partnerships too where one partner feels insecure or inadequate and over
a period of time starts to erode the confidence of their partner so that they begin to develop a
dependence whilst building the security of the once insecure partner as they are feeling more
needed. This is often followed by the now empowered person developing a disrespect for their
partner who then become the devalued one.
A split may soon follow as the newly powerful member of the partnership has so skillfully
empowered themselves that they now feel too good for the robbed and depleted half of
the relationship.
If they could recognise this behaviour, because that is all that it is, then they could transfer hat skill to a positive role helping to cement the relationship and empower the partnership.
Sometimes it's not easy, to give up the 'power' status as although rationally they perfectly
understand emotionally they need to cling to the empowerment and put down their partner.
They need that feeling of superiority to make them feel safe. Unfortunately such people may
never feel whole enough or strong enough to face their demons and could live out the rest of
their lives victimising others like emotional vampires, whilst coming across to casual
aquaintences as the nicest person you could hope to meet.
If ever they are able to summon up the courage to do something about it then they really
could be very effective and empowered in any relationship they chose.
Something to bear in mind next time someone really winds you up.
Andrea Lowe
Senior Hypnotherapist and Trainer
