Category: Mind Matters

1. mental rambling

   Posted on 9:01pm Wednesday 20th Aug 2014

   Do you mentally ramble? yes you do!!
   Do you like walking? Have you noticed how rights of way are often getting blocked by the farmer who owns the land?
   
   When we walk across a farmers land, using our right of way, he usually doesn't even know we are there. Yet he always knows we have been there. We have left footprints in the field creating a pathway that becomes an embedded route across or round the field.
   
   We just get used to following the pathways.
   
   How often do you stop to think about what you are/have been thinking? Thoughts seem to have the habit of taking a ramble through our minds and consciously like the farmer we are often oblivious but subconsciously we are fully aware and receptive to those rambling thoughts. As they become embedded and strengthened they have an impact on the way we consciously think.
   
   Try paying more attention to the rambling thoughts and you may begin to understand your conscious thoughts a little more.

   

2. The power of the mind

   Posted on 9:00pm Wednesday 20th Aug 2014

   Why would we be surprised that the tiniest little irrelevant thought can hugely influence our emotions when we consider that the action of the mind is the most powerful thing we will ever come across in this chaotic world that we believe we live in.

3. The responsibility of being 'NICE'

   Posted on 5:54am Monday 24th Feb 2014

   

   As part of my hypnotherapy course trainee hypnotherapists do a lot of work on examining their motives - and often that involves the need to look the reasons why it feels good to help people or be seen as nice or behave as people want you to behave. 

   It is a good thing to consider and  develop an awareness about your own motives, whether you are a therapist or just a 'nice' person.

   The other day someone was giving me a lift in their car and an innocent incident reinforced that this is relevant even on the most casual of ;nice' actions and I thought it worth sharing.

   It was in the evening so it was darkish with street lights on.  We were approaching a main junction where there was a very short queue and there was a car waiting to join our traffic from the left.  My friend slowed down and flashed for the car to come onto the road in front of her.  What happened next though was a surprise to both of us.  Neither of us had noticed the man standing at the pedestrian lights waiting for the lights to chance to green for him red for us.  He came walking across whilst the  light were still unchanged and my friend had to pull up sharpish.

   It wasn't anywhere near an accident but if my friend had not been concentrating for just a minute or had flashed when she was a few feet closer it could have been.

   That reminds me of the time when there was a double traffic queue down a busy main road near Heaton Park and I was driving in the centre lane that was moving more steadily than the outside lane.  Without my knowledge a car on the nearside lane had flashed someone to join the traffic in front of him but the car decided to come right across in front of me too and as I was unaware of this flashing it caused a near accident and an angry  man who thought he had been given permission to get where he wanted to be so exercised no caution.

   This illustrates in a minor way the responsibilities that go along with being 'nice'.  Aspiring as i do, to free spirithood. it seems be quite contrare to say that there are rules and if you break them then you need to be able to take the responsibility for the consequences.  So I won't say that.  I will say that we have systems to deal with complex situations and it's perfectly okay to be a free spirit and to adjust those systems as long as you are willing to consider all the implications and possibilities first.  And whats more to take the responsibility for any possible consequences.

   Different cultures have different systems that are culturally accepted so for instance,  sticking with the car theme. In France you are left much more to your own devises when driving hence, to me who is not culturally used to it, the chaos of the great ring road around Paris or the roads in central Paris or any big city for that matter is gross.  However to a French driver all our rules are a bit of a bind.  I would imagine that pedestrians have to cross these road with more of an adventurous spirit too.  There may be solid reasons for these differences and there is no right or wrong.

   So if you translate this into other acts of niceness and consquences - go on just think about it.

   So it could be harder than you think to be really nice.

   Andrea lowe

   Hypnotherapist and Trainer

    

4. What's your job worth?

   Posted on 5:04pm Friday 8th Nov 2013

   In my opinion, as a hypnotherapist, I have one of the best jobs in the world.  However, people often tell me they don't think they could sit listening to peoples problems all day.. I just don't look at it like that and my jobs worth comes on the days when clients walk out of my consulting room never to be seen again but very much more happy and optimistic than when they first came in.

   I have noticed that we seem to have several highly qualified young people who have chosen to come over here and work in a coffee bar or a restaurant and they seem to be very consientious, thorough and pleasant. Yet if they chose to look at life in a different way they could let the fact that they are apparently wasting their qualifications make them less conscientious and motivated more stressed and miserable..

   Any Job can be a satisfying experience if that's the way you choose to look at it or it can be a nightmare too and it's more often than not your choice..

   Some jobs can be very satisfying in a personal development sort of way.  Now don't laugh but if a roadsweeper chose to sweep in the moment and use the experience as an almost meditive personal practice then they would have a fantastic job and would surely appreciate the simple things in life.  Plus they would be proud of the cleanliness they had meaningfully created..

   Then again the person with the high-powered, demanding and 'stressful' job may put so much value in the status  that they can't step back and take the longer view.  When you think about it, a job is to give you a life not to take over your life!  You do what you can and what you can't will remain - no matter how stressed that pile of unfinished work might  make you feel.  Stressing about it makes it harder to complete and makes you miserable for yourself and the people you live you life with.

   There are exceptions when other peoples wellfare is dependant on you and yo7u sim0ply have too much to do so the responsibility can weigh heavy, but still there is a choice of ways to look at it.

   What I am getting around to saying in my long drawn out way is surely it is better to do a job that you might be over qualified for and put your best effort into it so that you are gaining great experience and personal development than to sit at home waiting for the 'right' job to come along.

   Life is changing and gradually and I don't believe it will ever be the same again.  I believe that we will eventually spend a lot more time developing ourselves and our spirituality (for want of a better word) and less on commercial status.  Wealth will have to be less important in the future as it has spiraled out of control.

   Take pleasure in the sim0ple things in life.  Nature offers fantastic spectacles if we can take the time to look.  A babbling brook, a fantastic sunset/rise,  ice on a lake and the rest. 

   Most of all make y9ur job work for you rather than the other way round.

    

    

    

    

    

5. Has the recession changed your lifestyle?

   Posted on 1:23pm Monday 4th Nov 2013

   If you are one of the people who are suffering from a reduction in real income and you are feeling badly done to let's take a look at what is happenihng.

   For several decades we have been money orientated and lifetsyle conscious, trying to keep up with the latests gadgets (impossible as there are new ones out all the time).  We have focused on getting a good job with a good income, status and everything that goes with it.  We have become stressed, ill and out of touch with our real selves.

   It's not all lot to do with any govenrment for any of it (although they have certainly been influencial) and we have certainly been encouraged to chase the £'s and borrow borrow borrow - but it's all in the stars and as a peaceful Aquarious is slowly becoming our influencial planet we are almost being forced into paying attention and taking life more slowly and  less seriously.  We have spent time focusing on the material things and now it is time to focus on ourselves and our spiritual well-being.

   The more spiritually progressive and flexible amongst up will embrace this new opportunity with a  big hug and implement changes to their lifestyle and work/life balance finding satisfaction and pleasure in the simpler things in life.  (And jst look how mother nature is supporting us with a fantastic Summer and a georgeous Autumn).

   It is the ones who are hanging on to their idealistic views of what their life should be like and what they want from life materially that are going to suffer the hardship.  Obviously the more you have the more you might lose and so for once the people with little are in a stronger position than the fat cats out there who are living in materialist heaven.

   Make no mistake - the big change is here and it is the little people who are going to be the influencers of the future.  So start your journey here.

    

   Andrea Lowe Hypnotherapist

6. Relating to a People Pleaser

   Posted on 9:33am Tuesday 8th Oct 2013

   Yes, yes, yes

   Do you know someone who is a people pleaser?  You know the type, you can depend on them agreeing to do anything for you and it's a bit of a shock if they say no!

   Maybe you recognise this in yourself and find it difficult to refuse a request from someone.

   Generally in the long run pps get disrespected, undervalued and overlooked.

   But this blog is about being in a realtionship with a pp. 
   

   The relationship could be a professional one or a personal one.

   The up side, you would think, of this is that the pp would do everything they could to please you - so you can be sure they are dependable...... well not exactly, you see the pp relationship is not exclusive,,, so they are trying to keep lots of people happy - not just you.  It's not really possible so it's therefore safe to say that being in a relationship with a pp means that you cannot rely on them.  The fact that their intentions were good means that they do not like it when you criticise them, after all they have every good intention towards you but they just couldn't give any more.  It seems to them unfair that you cannot understand this.

   Ask anyone who works with or lives with a pp and you will find that frustration will crop up in their reply.

   Pps think they are loyal and need to be seen as loyal and good friends but they cannot be faithful or true to you in the broadest sense.  They are  a sucker for someone in trouble or someone they can impress.
   

   It's bad enough in a professional relationship but if your partner, spouse or other is a pp then as you are probably the most certain most reliable person in their lives and they don't need to work too hard to please you, so you will be the bottom of the pile when it comes to helping people out. You will get frustrated regularly asthey continue to let you down through helping someone else out.  It's hard though too be too angry as that makes you seem chrlish because after all they are letting you down whilst serving others - not going on a bender! 

   In most cases the best relationship to have with a pp is a casual friendship as you are not to be taken for granted but still impressable. 

   My clients often suffer from partners who are people pleasers and it's often partners of pps who need the Assertiveness Training..  here are some examples:

   A friend who needed to impress men and would drop any arrangements with her girlfriend at a moments notice if she got a better offer from a man.  She would also ignore her friend socially if a suitable man joined the conversation.

   A wife who found her husband, a pp, was going to the extreme of giving away their childrens toys to impress casual friends.

   Generally pps are really good at talking the talk but a little incapacitated when it comes to sustaining the walk long term.

   People Pleasers have a real psychological problem.  You might think that they would benefit from assertiveness training but many of them can be assertive.

   Anyone who felt they needed an assertiveness course can also tell you that knowing how to do something can help a little but if it doesn't feel right then you still have a problem.  Each time you practise the activities you have learned you have to stretch your comfort zone that much more.  Over time it will embed but not if there is an emotion attached to your need to pp.

   Getting to the reason why pps need to get the affirmations from others and they cannot respect themselves is an interesting therapeutic journey with a very liberating ending.

   This is just one of the reasons why being a hypnotherapist is so satisfying.